a series of strange coincidences, odd events led me to do something I normally wouldn't today. a lot of built up frustration/anger, knowing that you would've been there the whole time saying "you won't," wanting to prove myself wrong, and ultimately a bus driving by that on the side read "yellowbird." all of these things led me to realize I wanted something, then it drove me towards it. regardless of the outcome, I'm just happy I've brought myself back to this point of confidence.

it's one in the morning, I'm listening to la dispute on repeat, and being in delaware doesn't feel right. I want to be back in the city or anywhere far. but mostly, I just want to write. I pulled out my little notebook again. nothing against you blogspot, I just tend to water down my thoughts on here.