I'm kind of pushing myself back into the "just go with whatever comes my way" mindset. If I've got nothing to do and someone asks me to go to a questionable hardcore show, I'm going to go. I always prove to myself that going out can be fun if you go into the situation with an open mind.

So, yesterday afternoon, Joanna invited me to come with her to Phoenixville with her, Max Davis, and Damian Harmon. She picked me up and we listened to new Taylor Swift on the drive to her house. There, we met Max and Damian. I almost instantly liked Max. He's just extremely friendly and his laugh's hilarious. I used my awesome direction skills and got us to the show right before Weeded Out played. The show seemed to drag on because I didn't really like any of the bands. I hung out with Sarah Wilcox a lot. It's been really nice seeing her around since she moved back. Eventually, we realized we were starving so Drew, Joanna, and I got fries/old bay fries upstairs and I watched them play Battleship for a while. Eventually, the show ended and we split into two cars. Max, Joanna, and I rode in one car. Drew, Damian, and Matt rode in another. We sang really loud on the way home, of course. "Max, we're going to sing to you.." "Oh, ok, is this like a full body experience or something?" I texted Tesla a lot on the ride home as well and she was at the same party as Reece. He told her he hasn't talked to me in a while and to say hi for him. In a really strange way that I can not understand, it made me really miss him. Maybe that's just on a friendly level, but I'd really like to lie in his bed and talk to him for hours again. Anyway, we met back up at Amy/Drew's. John, Joanna, and I drove to a really sketchy liquor store in Maryland to get a case of pbr and some whiskey. We sat around the living room for a while and I listened to Max tell really funny stories. I showed Dom all the pictures in my phone. Once Max and Damian left, we all went into the kitchen to play Kings Cup. I swear that will always be one of my favorite drinking games if everyone's in the mood to play. It can get so funny. "NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN A VEGAN... YEAH FUCK YOU, MELISSA." - Thanks, Drew. (I lost that round.) We ended up back in the living room watching South Park and I somehow ended up cuddling with Dom on the couch. Joanna and Matt left, Drew and Amy started fighting, so the rest of us just layed around. Drew angrily came back down and Amy wanted me to go upstairs and stay with her. So, I did. Dom texted me and told me that he liked me and I felt guilty for maybe kind of leading him on. I went back downstairs and everyone was sleeping, so I squeezed onto the couch with Dom. It was really nice getting to cuddle with someone who I actually have some kind of history with. I fell asleep and when I woke up, I really just felt wrong. I wanted so badly to be in that position with the same stupid boy that keeps breaking my heart. I lied there and just thought about him for a while until I eventually got up and fell asleep upstairs. Just to easily sum something really personal up, not involving Dom, but I really lost a lot of respect for someone last night. It scares me how real some of these things are. It's terrifying to know that that could end up being me.

As I keep growing up, life gets more and more real. Maybe this makes me naive, but it really hits me hard sometimes.