Trying to feel better.

My body has recently felt like it's shutting itself down. My eating habits have gotten absolutely terrible. There was once a time where my diet mostly consisted of raw vegetables, fruits, and dairy. I ran for 30 minutes daily. I felt SO GOOD. Recently, all I do is eat whatever I can find that's vegan. I think the lack of nutrition/energy I'm taking in has left me unable to do much of anything without disgusting amounts of caffeine and way too much sleep. I eat maybe one, sometimes two meals a day.. especially throughout the week. They're rarely actually good for me, usually just something to keep me feeling "full." On weekends, I eat just as badly.. but I actually cook for myself. Then I drink too much alcohol and completely dehydrate my body. I also just recently realized how terribly awful liquor and beer are for you. I mean, I know that's a given.. but 150+ calories PER SHOT? That's honestly me consuming around 1,000+ calories a night simply in drinks. Multiply this by 2 or 3 times a week, and that's what I'm putting into my body.

SOMETHING has to change. Besides the fact that I think I'm at the highest weight I've ever been, I'm also kind of concerned for my health. I generally don't eat lunch (and sometimes breakfast), but that is going to HAVE to change. I'm sick of feeling like I don't even have enough energy to leave my bed from 2:00 until I get up for school.. literally. This is my routine almost daily. Maybe this means I'm not capable of taking care of myself. I don't know. Today, I felt like my entire body was angry with me. I couldn't concentrate on anything because my head hurt so much, despite the THREE cups of coffee I had this morning.

These are the changes I'm forcing myself to make, starting right now:

001. No more drinking anything that isn't water or organic juice. Seriously no more excessively sugary drinks. They make me feel so sick.
002. Take a vitamin daily. When I did make myself do this, I saw a difference in my health overall.
003. No more fried foods.. or at least, keep it extremely limited. Going out and never having any foods to eat always leaves me ordering SOMETHING fried. Usually french fries. I can't deny my love for disgusting, greasy foods.. but once again, I know that they're apart of making me feel so shitty all of the time.
004. Eat a solid three meals a day. If possible, more. I'm going to actually get out of my bed on time so I have time to eat something in the morning. I'm going to start bringing my lunch to school. Eat when I get home, then again at dinner time. THEN that's it.
005. Which means no more eating really late. Not eating all day then realizing I'm starving once I'm already in bed really has to stop.
006. I need to be a lot more active. I'm going to get back into the routine of taking Rudy for a 30 minute walk/jog/run daily. I stopped for a little because of the ice, but I want to get back into that.
007. Start eating what's healthy, not what's always just vegan. The amount of times I've just not eaten anything at all over something that might not be 100% vegan is kind of ridiculous. I've just let myself not eat for really long periods of time, despite being hungry, because there was nothing vegan available. Of course, I don't want to start drinking milk or anything like that, but I'm definitely putting the strict veganism thing on hold. I'm not good at it. My lack of time/access to vegan foods makes it a lot more difficult. I'll pick it back up this summer. Especially once I move and am buying my own groceries.


We'll see how this goes..