last night was reassuring. the ball really IS in my court.

today's been exceptionally good. for no particular reason, the sun's just shining and I'm learning to love it more. I have no idea what the day has in store for me, but for now, I'm just going to sleep it all off. I'm almost always running on less than 6 hours of sleep and it's definitely catching up to me.

tomorrow! tigers jaw's coming to newark, which is exciting. as well as the fellow jerseyans, so tomorrow's going to be full of lots of love. saturday, we're taking the 6 hour drive to boston, FINALLY. this weekend has the potential to be one of the best weekends of my life.

if only you knew... I think we'd all be so much nicer to one another.

I turned on the AC to make it feel like summer,

but then I remembered you.

I told you last night you gave me butterflies. you surprise me with new cocoons every time they start to fly. I instantly felt like an idiot, embarrassed of the person controlling my mouth. my mouth, it's always in a melee. figuring out how as it talks. your response was comforting. I guess, I guess I gave you butterflies too.

I want my hands in your hair, I want my hands in your hair. pulling your face closer,

and closer,

and closer,

and closer

when it becomes physical, it becomes unbearable.

watered down.

not even I understand why I do the things I do. if I do, I'm too afraid to admit it. I think this is the core of my frustration. I can't talk to anyone about this because no one gets it and that's my fault. at least this leaves me constantly writing in my little notebook and wanting to find new things to keep me going.

I guess you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. eventually, though, I realize that some things just aren't meant to be.

this morning, I woke up still feeling a little buzzed and sticking to a bed due to all of the humidity. there were chocolate goldfish crumbled all over me. I was laying next to my best friend and some people I just started hanging out with were laying on the floor next to me. I then walked around the state of delaware for two hours trying to get to tesla's car. I had a shirt wrapped around my foot because my shoe broke, I have never been that dirty in my life, and I was running on less than 2 hours of sleep.

these are the mornings that make me realize how much I love my life. easily easily easily

where are you?