List

001. This seems to be a really difficult time for a lot of my friends. It's never easy having to sit back and see your friends go through a ton of shit they don't deserve. I wish I was better at cheering people up. All I can do is listen sometimes.

002. This weekend, for being the last weekend of summer, was not very impressive. Maybe I'm asking too much and I know this is how it always goes. The only good part was that incredibly liberating feeling I got looking right past you. Also, spending time in the city and getting super smelly and walking to Satellite in the morning for a bagel with vegan cream cheese.

003. With that being said, someone I've always kind of had my eye on made their way into my life.. whether they realize it or not. Having a conversation with someone who actually seemed like they wanted to really ruled. I'm going to try my very hardest to keep my emotions under control this time. I'm not letting myself get too ahead. Promise.

004. Summer is basically over.. tomorrow is the last official day and I'm super bummed about it. However, I did manage to finish 2/3 books and basically complete the two projects I had to do. Now, I just have to get some basic school supplies, fix my camera, watch a shitty movie, get back on a normal sleep schedule and have the best senior year ever.

005. I've really been testing my limits lately. Am I willing to spend time with a total stranger/stay at their house to see how I react without my close friends around? I've learned that I am WAY too dependent on the people I'm closest to. Going to a show/party without them feels strange, but it's something I'm glad I'm getting better at. Good times to be had.

006. Family drama's weighing me down. I find myself wishing sometimes (a lot) that we're all back to when we first moved into Pike Creek. We'd sit around, eat dinner together and do a lot of talking. Now, we're all split up across the state and I don't think I've said more than 5 words to my dad in 5 months.

007. I'm excited for this upcoming school year but I'm not excited to be surrounded by people that I don't understand/don't understand me. I recently met a really nice dude that warned me not to get sucked into the pressures of being a little more socially acceptable by their high school definition. I told him I'm the last person that would ever let themselves get sucked into anything of the sort. It's not that I hate everyone, I just don't like the majority I have to be around. Senior year means as much to me as the book I just had to read. I want to surround myself around people I feel I'll be able to learn and benefit from... which is not in my high school.

008. Sometimes and more recently, I really think I've begun to totally lose my mind.

009. It stills feel like autumn. I'm feeling super hopeful. Don't let me down.. please.

End.