"So close to death, Maman must have felt free then and ready to live it all again. and I felt ready to live it all again too. As if that blind rage has washed me clean, rid me of hope, for the first time, in that night alive with signs and stars, I opened myself to the indifference of the world. Finding it so much like myself -- so like a brother, really -- I felt that I had been happy and that I was happy again. For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone."