more than anything, I wish I could be okay with staying in one place for long periods of time. I also wish I was more able to "flow" through life without constantly looking back and wishing and hoping that things will be different later on. I hate thinking about previous relationships, ideas, or even just conversations and thinking of the million little things I could've done differently to make it better.

even good excuses are still excuses. I feel nauseous 70% of the time these days simply from over-thinking everything I could possibly over think. for the first time since I came to the realization, I'm excited to be alone these next couple months. it's the only way I can bring myself back down and remember what's important. I'm going to read all the books in my collection, do really well in school and save all the money I can so I can FINALLY live the life I've been wanting to live. a big city, a porch, and my best friend. I don't need you because you don't need me. that and you're just an asshole.